So, today is a SNO-HO! day... And though we don't have school, it still makes me sad that I can't go anywhere or do anything cause of well.. the snow.. But its aight.. lol Now I can get some of my crap done for school..
So, up date about my violin situation. Apperatantly I should wait until I am out of school because "I will never practice, because I HAVE to practice everyday and on top of that I don't get my work does as it is.." So now I must wait until the school year is over but then I will be working full time at Colonial and part time at Miguels.. My mom thinks then I will have time to practice.. I want a life too you know.. Mary at work said that I am to young to work so much, "why would you want to work so much, you should be out having fun, partying..?" Who else is goin to pay for the things I want. I know I always use college as my "excuse" but c'mon I don't think my mom wants to throw thousands of dollars away on the violin only to HOPE that I actually continue to play.. And besides its something I want to do for myself, I want to be able to say that I did it.. Don't get me wrong though its not like my mother isn't going to pay and doesn't support me, but she knows me, doesn't want me to waste my money.. She says I can do whatever I want, and that she will be there for me 110%.. I didn't ask her to pay for me, but at the same time she didn't offer which is fine for me. This is my invesment.. And yes the child support does go for somethings.. And I am getting off this 'How am I going to pay for college' path. There are options like scholarships, which I have to start applying for, and loans, financial aid all those little things that help. Plus my dad has these trusts, or bonds something put away that he is sending, we can't cash them in but we can put it towards school, or books (for school) etc....
So I have been thinking about my future plans and what I want to get out of my college and well life expierence. I want a successful business! I have so many ideas! My head is just exploding with excitement, in hopes that it all works out of course.. I can't wait to get out there and get my hands dirty lol.. I know it seems I am so concentrated on school and work, and future plans blah blah blah.... If you get down in it, what else is there.. you work for you whole life, you kow nothing but working and goin to school.. Always being busy..
I am nervous though.. That I will let myself down, or continuously change my mind because I can't seem to stick to one thing.. Thats one thing I hate about myself.. Constantly distracted from what I should be concnetrating on.. People never want to hear that it could be A.D.D but you don't know until you have gone through what I have gone through mentaly, to feel it happen and have no control over it.. It sucks. That past month has been nothing but FUCKIN HELL for me. I have changed alot. Grown up I like to think, and let me tell you it fuckin hurt.. on the inside.. In every way possible.