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boys boys boys... There will be NO FIGHTING.. [11 May 2005|09:57pm]
Well, hmm where do I begin.. Of course its about Lee and how madly I have fallen for him. The way he has complete control, and how he doesn't back down (which pisses me off at times) which leads me into recent events.. SO much has happened that i dont even know anymore. ::sigh:: i get so happy when i see his car when I walk to Nicoles.. such a crazy head.. I can't help but be honest with him, i dont think i have lied, i just never tell him..the whole story... I might be getting more time than expected with him cause his recruiter went on vacation doesn't get back till monday and he cant evalutate lee's tatoo till then anyway..(he got one removed from his neck).. He said that he would have to leave before the 21st but since they guy is gone, he's looking at possibly another week or so.. God I hope so, i can't picture saying good-bye.. not now at least. For those of you who dont know Lee is goin into the army, boot camp for nine weeks, one week back home then seven more weeks of some training or another, and then well where ever he wants to be stationed and he hopes for Iraq.. 2 years or something.. I dunno, but when i think about not seeing him my whole body goes numb and all i want to do is throw my arms around him and hug and kiss him and let him know that i will always be there.. I told him the other night that no matter what happens between me and him that i am glad we are friends, of course i had to explain myself cause thats how he is, and so i proceeded to say that if something was to become of us when he got back that that was cool too. I think he likes to hear me talk about how i feel for him, some kind of manly "dude she totally wants me" thing lol... No but seriously, he was thankful for that and he was happy that I am happy when we hangout. I let him know he was doin somehting right.. Oh yeah, when i was talking about something happening between me and him he was like "like what..: of course I had to explain and i said well if we "got closer" and we both giggled and he asked me "well what would happen or what if we did get closer.." My heart was at this point on the floor with excitement.. But I wanted to make it clear that i wasnt all about getting with him, and that i did like us being friends too.. God I dunno.. Long story short we argued about something (not getting into it) and i ended up saying "go fuck yourself" and apperently it really hurt him, which i didnt know but i was only defending how strongly i felt and we both got threatened by one another we talked it out and he repeated himself with "I like you Jess i really do, I like you as a friend.... ::pause of death:: I like you more than a friend" I couldn't even look him in the eye that night, but i wasnt goin to let my guard down and just give up how i felt. But i appologized and it all worked out and you know what I get.. a kiss on the cheek and a broken heart.. I dont know where this is all goin with him, but there are only two roads.. lets hope for the best..

Peace out and g'night..

"Keep and eye on the time butterfly" -my mom is so CUTE!
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[04 May 2005|10:53pm]
Well, I bet you are al guesing whats up in my life.. Well Lee and I have been seeing alot of each other lately, and well guess what kids.. HE KNOWS!! and apperently he had known for a long time (about a month) that I liked him for a while, and that I still like him.. And a bunch of stuff has happened..Like him saying that he has always thought I was cute.. But today was a bit different we played pool and talked alot.. But then he saw a message i left Emily "I have fallen for him" and i think it weirded him out, he didnt act differently but i dunno.. There are things he isn't telling me and i don't want to push it any furthur because I am sure its difficult for him in many ways more than one..
But guys its late and i dont think you need to know intimate details about what I do so i will leave you with this..

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So last night rocked my damn socks off bitches!! [30 Apr 2005|10:25am]
[ mood | chilly ]

So GREEN DAY was AMAZING!!! I have to thank Lem, Pat, and BT for a wonderfull evening of loud punk rock! I got mixed feelings about it though.. The music that is.. But anyway. We missed most of My Chemical Romance we caught the end of "I'm not oo k" <singing it in my head. That was good. We lost Pat and BT, but then got drinks and met up with them at our seats.. Not bad seats actually, every where was a good seat. After the show we went ghost hunting. Lem and Pat got out at one of the cemetarys.. pretty damn scary, by then my ears were still ringing.. Kind of like the sounds of an amp tunred up real lound that weird sound... damn i cant think of how to type that sound lol. But yeah it was so much fun, i'm glad I went..

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[11 Apr 2005|02:57pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

so M.S.I yeah.. SO FUCKING GOOD! Honestly the best show I have been to.. The best part was hanging with Dean, Ed, and Alyssa though that was hardcore fun lol! Morning Wood was ok, if they were harder they would have been better.. But then Kill Radio came on and took the show of course M.S.I was un-fucking-beatable.. Its just to bad that the lead singer of Morning Wood publicaly molested this 12 year old girl on stage lol.. hey she was pretty much willing though..

But yeah i gotta work today.. bummer...

Why is it your friends have to lie to you.. Accept what you have done wrong, and get whats coming to you, because its about time you got what you deserve..!

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BITCHES!!! [10 Apr 2005|11:06am]
[ mood | refreshed ]

So yes I am goin to see M.S.I tonight with some wonderfull friends of mine tonight.. Deany-o, Edwardio, and Alyssa.. sorry i dont have a nickname for you yet lol we will think of one.. So yes..

Things shall be crazy and off the sheezy fa shizzle! anyway.. my brother had a bon fire last night i didn't par-take not only was i not invited BUT was busy watching Donnie Darko which i didnt finish cause i fell asleep, and it creeped ths shit out of me. I got to the part where he was stabbing the mirror i think, yeah and his parents were talkin to his doctor woman.. Frank is an interesting character.. hehe i think i need to see the rest lol.. It was an impulse buy what can i say lol..
Well kids I am off to get ready so we can leave A.S.A.P

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Screw Hello You Had Me at Good-Bye... Some how like the sickness he infects, he's simple but deadly. [06 Apr 2005|05:54pm]
[ mood | Give me a reason... ]

its weird. right now.. cause its one of those "i don't know how to feel moods" i'm not happy, i'm not sad.. I'm not anything... this is so messed up.. i wish i could type like this ksjfpijddfgj osj j and you all knew what it meant, cause my hands are lazy at the moment..

Plus side- John asked me for my number today! WOO he wants to hangout with me! Nice.. Things are going smoothly..

Down side- Lee has me at good bye.. Apperantly he is leaving on the 30th of next month for 9 weeks (boot camp) and then comming home for one... not bad, it wouldn't be if i saw him more often.. It seems the farther he gets from me the more i fall for him.. and i am falling hard, but it doesn't hurt. I just havent adjusted to it yet.. We were supposed to hangout last night and of course just as i expected it didn't happen. I dont feel like explaining but yea.. and then he stopped by today and aww I love the things he says, the way he says them, and how he looks, and the way he does everything pretty much.. I don't want to come off pushy, or annoying (which isn't hard to do) but I just dont know the right thing to say, or how to look.. Or what to do!

"Say You Will"

Say you will
Say you might
Could you stay a while
there is time
If I had known
I'd be walking home alone

Please won't you just calm down
Maybe we can talk this out
You haven't even heard my side of the story
It was a big mistake
I didnt mean to hesitate
My futures fallin in my hands
Why can't you understand?

They're out to get me
You've got to believe me

Say you will
Say you might
Cause I had planned
That you try
Change your mind
Could you stay a while
There is time
If I had known
I'd be walking home alone

Does it have to be like this
Now please take this off my wrists
We'll make believe this never happened
Let it go it's in the past
Stop looking at me with those eyes
Acting like you're so surprised
What else can i possibly say
She had it coming anyway

They're out to get me
You've got untie me

Say you will
Say you might
But please dont say goodbye tonight
Cause I had planned
That you try
Change your mind
Could you stay a while
There is time
If I had known
I'd be walking home alone

Say you will
Say you might
But please dont say goodbye tonight
Cause I had planned
That you try
Change your mind
Could you stay a while
There is time
If I had known
I'd be walking home alone

Why does everything with me have to be about boys lately.. could it be that's what I need? somone to put me in a place so I can see the world.. Whether its hurt, rejection (which I've had enough of), or just that feeling of love and acceptance.. Its seems that its all that bother me but its not. .

I guess its just that swince I dont have that "affection" from the other side lol, that when i have something that could aspire I hold on to it, and get so damn attached that I cant let go.. at all.. We all know what happened with Corey hehe..

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self motivation... [30 Mar 2005|09:52pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I hate myself, i hate the person i have become... I am self centered, and i don't care for others... I dont know how to love, or feel for that matter. because of you i am lost with an emptiness forever in my heart, weighing heavier everyday.. You made a bad choice, but did you ever think what you might have done to me? not only my selfish being, but your son, the one that looks up to a father the most. I told you I hated you, and through the tears that was the only thing you heard tonight. I couldn't imagine the guilt I wish upon you. but tonight i heard it, i heard you, i felt it, and i still couldn't get through to you. To many things were left unsaid, and my feelings are still hurt. but my emtions are empty, i can't feel anything, and i have never felt so dumb in my life.. Damn you! I wish i could put a face to the voice, cause thats all you are, and all you have ever been to me for 7 years... I cant keep putting myself through this while you sit back and watch me suffer, to only hear what I say, but you would never know...

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on a new note.. a much better one than yesterday of course.. [24 Mar 2005|06:26pm]
[ mood | content ]

So I guess i should tell you about the new situation.. I will make it short cause i am here at the house of the sernas.. So today went rather strange, and i decided that i really shouldnt be that mad at John, so i wrote him this little note saying that I wasn't that mad i was just more upset, and that i was more mad at Nick.. I was nervous about giving it to him.. But just when i thought things couldn't get better my good little ken beal decided to help me out so when i was walking to Chem i made sure to see John, and thanks to ken for blurting out "John jess has a note for you" and OMG! well before i get to minor details he was like "uhh yeah i have one for you too I have been using as a book mark.." so he just stopped in the hall gave it to me and said "its kind of a violent apology" and now for the OMG part it has to be the best apology in the world. he said that he was so sorry for saying it and that he's NOT that kind of person "who enjoys inflicting emotional damage on others" it was just so sinsear, and i am not just saying that because i am way into this kid.. and the best part is at the end when he said "The only reason i can think of is i think you're cute and i was just teasing you and without thinking i said the most unbelieveably offensive thing on the planet" and it was just so sweet.. i would have never expected that from someone who i barely know.. I am not totally over it of course but i think its safe to say that he didn't mean it.. I may be taking the note differently than he may have meant it but damn.. when is that you get a letter like that..

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My life as of.. now.. Man i forgot what its like to type like with my nails done... [23 Mar 2005|04:17pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

So things have been stressful lately, but I try not to let it bother me all that much.. I am working alot more which is good.. But other than that I dont really have a social life anymore, with college stuff and work and school there is no time for much.. So yeah I said I would update a few new things well as most of you know there is a boy.. that I like! well what else is new.. His name happens to be John, and he is in my study.. things have been SO great (I wont go into details) but I wrote on a piece of paper today "John D Blows" and jokingly he was like "oh why would you say something like that about me" so then I wrote "John takes everything to seriously and cant take a joke. What a dork" so then he came back with "Jessica Crawford is a little on the chubby side" my heart sank and i thought i was goin to puke right then and there. Then nick (who is always an ass to me) decided to add his two cents in by saying when it was ok to call someone fat or skinny and then sarcasticaly said to me "Jess you are so thin" what an ass hole.. then other stuff was said and it was nice but then mean and what the fuck.. WHY!!!!!! everything was so good.. Just ten minutes before it happened we were saying stuff in spanish to eachother and he was saying stuff Like "Jess es mi novia," and he said we were in a serious relationship well in spanish but you get the point. we were just joking around... but that really hurt.. Oh and then nick adds "hey jess how do you get your side burns to come all the way down" i was two seconds to slapping him.. My stomach has never been in such a knot of anger.. thinking about it makes me want to puke, i had to hold back tears, i was so AAH! inside..

But on the other hand my dog is sick and school is goin ok... doing alot of college searching, and i might go for my associates but if you think about it only goin for two years means that there is only one year of what I am actually goin to scholl for and one year of my general or intorduction classes.. So i might go for a four year in physical or occupational therapy, and then transfer to a two year associates for massage.. i dont know... I might just go with my associates and then go for physical or occup.. I dont know.. I still got time to think..

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So its very early... [19 Mar 2005|06:23am]
[ mood | calm ]

So yes its very early and I am off to Destination College!!! I hope to see szczpynski (hope i got that right).. That would be rather fun.. I only went to bed a few hours ago so I am quite tired...

I have a few things to dicuss later when I return (not till about 3ish probably..)

1. John ( whoa this is weird cause it could be my brother and this kid John D)
2. You can call me.. Anytime

Peace out!

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[06 Mar 2005|09:11pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

So this whoele fucking Camera thing is really starting to piss me the fuck off.. And what has EVERYONE done.. you'd think help me .. nah nah, not one person has but they can all sit there and continue to tell me how its my fault.. I THINK I GOT IT!! What you think it hasnt gotten to me that I have to pull this money out of my ass and that its a few hundred dollars that I have to spend on a new one for Jim.. And he tried to tell me its an 800 dollar camera like I am an idiot, and I would believe it.. Apperantly he over heard me and mom talking about it and then tonight claimed that I said that I lent it to someone.. Umm When did I say that... He is a fuckiing idiot.. oh and then told my mom that he doesnt lie! But this is all besides the point.. Instead of everyone drilling it into me that its my falut someone please help me or just get off my fucking back about it!!!!!!

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The crunch crunch crunchiness makes me fell all ooey gooey iside(it's not i side, you gota say it ri [25 Feb 2005|06:03am]
[ mood | Silly and Quirky ]

Its early and there's a delay....... Thank you... Just. thank you.....

Damn I ran out of room in the subject area... I have already been up for about an hour.. Its feels like 5 friggen minutes.. WoW!

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"Your probably wondering where you are..? I want to play a game.. " [13 Feb 2005|08:39pm]
[ mood | uhh ok ]

So this weekend was boss.. Up until now.. Only because now is when I hit bottom and I am SO incredibly tired.. Friday night was boss to the maximus! Me, Kish, Amy, Holly, and Holly's friend Katie all went sledding.. It was nuts, but heres the kicker we were all a little tipsy from playing "fact or fiction" which was now a drunken game of lying or telling the truth, but died out soon after.. You probably could even consider any of us legaly drunk except for Holly lol.. Me and her shredded that hill! We found a saucer (a broken one) and tore that up. We left Roby at like quarter to one just about.. It was so much fun!

Last night was ok, again we drank, but this time it was Me, Amy, Justin, and Vanessa.. I fuckin love that girl she is so funny.. We also smoked too this time I got pics which I deff. want to put on lj.. cause they are too funny. We trashed and I mean trashed amy's basement after her and Cassey and Vanessa had cleaned it that day. I didn't to bed till about 4:45, and I had to get up at 9 or so to come home and do some work home. Then I had to be to work for two.. Not only to mention but I woke up sick, and when I called work when my mom came to get me at amy's apperantly Leanne said to Lauren she thoguht I was drinking... lol Something about htem calling me back.. long confusing story if you wernt there.. but it was funny.. But its getting late and I cant keep my eyes open so I will update you tomorrow with some funny pics of the crew..

Peace naegga!

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Ne me quitte pas [11 Feb 2005|03:40pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

So I went on my usual shooping extravaganza! lol ok thats enough of that.. haha shooping

Did I mention that I had a blast at Carolyns party which was held at Hectors homestead. lol Everyone got wasted and well lots of puke and well you know it.. It was so much fun and we all have to get together again and party it up..

So this girl today was wearing a josh Groban t-shirt. I only saw one but I heard there was another girl that had one, but anyway back to the point. It was Shawn Msomething or others girlfreind so I was on the in.. I asked him in Chem class if she had actually gone, and he said yes and that she even had backstage passes and got to meet him and stuff.. I almost puked when he told me.. One of those make a joke situations. lol I was like "shawn dont ever tell me something like that.. you will make me cry.." lol it was rather funny..
And then I talked Cini's ear off the entire rest of the class with talk of Josh Groban, and cutting her off mid sentece... God I am so annoying, and very sorry cindi! lol.. When my mind gets goin I just can't stop. lol

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[08 Feb 2005|09:10pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

So eveything has just been wonderfull.. Well almost. I have a mother update and well the tumors may not be a major problem but mysterious lumps in the neck just might be. About a week or so ago my mom found a lump in her neck, which turned into three i think, she has been on meds but its not doin anything. they think it might actaully be some sort of infection liek an abcess or something (gross man)... the pain is still there are ::sigh:: its been alot. They did an ultra sound and blood test stuff but of course my mother doesn't remember what the doctor said it might be... Now she might have to see a vascular surgeon when they check her neck again on thursday.. ::sigh:: my little mum is falling apart and i am right behind her.. There is nothing wrong with me, my blood tests came back fine, but that doesn't account for the mental anixety and severe changes that have been occuring. i just cant deal mang..

JESSICA, AMY, and TOMMY 2/7/05 "Reunited and it feels so good"

on the brighter side I HUNG OUT WITH THOMASEENYA!!!!! It was so much fun. It was me him and amy just like fuckin home, it felt so good to all be together again. honestly indescribable.. We went for a cruise and then watched the grudge in his basement.. It was such an AWSOME ending to an ok day.... I hope we all hang out more, it was alot of fun and i miss that... FUCKIN LOVE IT!

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Whats new... [29 Jan 2005|02:09pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Things have been pretty smooth lately.. I am starting to branch out and "do my thang" no more "oh I uhh think I have plans" If I don't already have solid plans than I will go for it..

Carli brought me to a show last night. At Drifters.. lol yeah Drifters right I know.. lol But the bands were not bad at all, really god actually.. The first band had a female singer pretty awsome.. Met carli's friend Seth who is "oh so sexy" ladies and jelly-spoons.. I can't even begin to explain.. He was in most ways perfect, but that's how it seems when you meet a cute boy.. He's not your average hey i'm cooler than you, ass hole "scenester" lol So nice!

*arlita go for it babe*

After that everyone (like 30 of us) hit up Denny's.. It felt really good to be a part of something like that.. Everyone made you feel welcomed and we all had fun and laughed good times...

Well thursday I went to the doctors office.. But not your everday doctors.. This was the big time boys and girls. I am not goin to go deep (uhh I cringe over that thought) into explination over it I am pretty sure most of you can guess.. Needless to say she is the only peron yet to see the more "sheltered" part of my life.. lol She thinks I have an "abnormal hormonal inmbalance" some POCS or PCOS I have no idea..(which would make sense for ALL the porblems that have been occuring) SO she made me go for blood tests little did I know she had to take like 5 or 6 different tubes.. It was neat but after a while I felt sick lol...

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For once I am starting to relax.."It's not me,Buried wreckage my soul,It's not me so who am I now" [26 Jan 2005|08:17am]
[ mood | anxious ]

So, today is a SNO-HO! day... And though we don't have school, it still makes me sad that I can't go anywhere or do anything cause of well.. the snow.. But its aight.. lol   Now I can get some of my crap done for school..

    So, up date about my violin situation. Apperatantly I should wait until I am out of school because "I will never practice, because I HAVE to practice everyday and on top of that I don't get my work does as it is.."  So now I must wait until the school year is over but then I will be working full time at Colonial and part time at Miguels.. My mom thinks then I will have time to practice.. I want a life too you know.. Mary at work said that I am to young to work so much,  "why would you want to work so much, you should be out having fun, partying..?" Who else is goin to pay for the things I want. I know I always use college as my "excuse" but c'mon I don't think my mom wants to throw thousands of dollars away on the violin only to HOPE that I actually continue to play.. And besides its something I want to do for myself, I want to be able to say that I did it.. Don't get me wrong though its not like my mother isn't going to pay and doesn't support me, but she knows me, doesn't want me to waste my money.. She says I can do whatever I want, and that she will be there for me 110%.. I didn't ask her to pay for me, but at the same time she didn't offer which is fine for me. This is my invesment..  And yes the child support does go for somethings.. And I am getting off this 'How am I going to pay for college' path. There are options like scholarships, which I have to start applying for, and loans, financial aid all those little things that help. Plus my dad has these trusts, or bonds something put away that he is sending, we can't cash them in but we can put it towards school, or books (for school) etc....  

 So I have been thinking about my future plans and what I want to get out of my college and well life expierence. I want a successful business! I have so many ideas! My head is just exploding with excitement, in hopes that it all works out of course.. I can't wait to get out there and get my hands dirty lol..  I know it seems I am so concentrated on school and work, and future plans blah blah blah.... If you get down in it, what else is there.. you work for you whole life, you kow nothing but working and goin to school.. Always being busy..


      I am nervous though.. That I will let myself down, or continuously change my mind because I can't seem to stick to one thing.. Thats one thing I hate about myself.. Constantly distracted from what I should be concnetrating on.. People never want to hear that it could be A.D.D but you don't know until you have gone through what I have gone through mentaly, to feel it happen and have no control over it.. It sucks.  That past month has been nothing but FUCKIN HELL for me. I have changed alot. Grown up I like to think, and let me tell you it fuckin hurt.. on the inside.. In every way possible.



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i dont think i have ever done one of these due to the fact of what results this could result in... [23 Jan 2005|07:44pm]
[ mood | curious ]

comment and do this :)

I committed suicide:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:


[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you make love to me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

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So this entry was supposed to make it ijnto my journal but instead.. It ended up in RW RR nashua [13 Jan 2005|08:47pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Dated January 12

So last night and well into this morning was dis-gusting! It was horrible but thank god there was someone like Josh there with his words of wisdom, and helping advice! thanks josh. But on to Friday... So as you all know my mom has been "sick" and Friday is the day for the Big Test... It will probably take a week or so for the results.. I just hope its not malignent or anything. They I should say, I hope they are not malignent. If its bad news then she will get surgery done soon. Apperantly her doctor wasn't to happy that she wasn't goin to get anything done when the first two tests came back different, well the same but they couldn't exactly tell what the news was. Friday is her Biopsy.. All i can do is pray and hope for the best..

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Oh yeah... duh [08 Jan 2005|10:59pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

Totally friggen forgot I had an entry typed up in my My Space about me and Lems adventure.. Well ok our day... So its not that exciting, but it was alot of fun.. Friday, December 31, 2004 So its New Years well not yet.. You fuckin know what I mean.. Current mood: creative So this blogging stuff is still kind of new to me so here it goes if this happens to be an email to someone then so be it.. But please return it.. So I had the best fuckig time ever with Lem!! I went down to her house and spent the night on wednesday and the we went totally all out shopping on thursday.. We hit up the Garmnet district and I bought a Jacket which is really cute only 16 bucks.. bargains folks, BIG bargains!.. Then we went downstairs to see what we could find in the the "1lb of clothes for a dollar" section.. I only could scrounge up a scarf.. Which cost me 60 cents... Then we made our way the Cambridge way side mall or something. We deffinatly rocked the dance. In almost every store we went into we danced to Gwen Stefani, ok two out of all the stores, with "What you waitin for" Thats our party boy song lol it was so good. We really only went in stores for the music hehe. its goood its goooood... "I just wanna dance" .. lol Oh yeah we hit up the Cheesecake factory OH MY GOD! is all I have to say.. I never wanted to leave. I got a good meal chicken stuffed tortillas.. and then I ordered for myself a slice of peanut-butter cookie dough cheesecake.. To die for my god... then I got a piece to go for my mom and brother Dulce de leche of course I tried a bite.. The best in the world! We dropped a bean as she would put it.. no Our bill was like 80 bucks.. which isnt bad for what we ordered.. the cheesecake runs from like 5 something to 7 something... thats when we went shopping and burned away all the cheese and cake by dancing lol.. It was so much fun.. Can't wait to hang out with her again.. Currently listening: What You Waiting for By Gwen Stefani Release date: By 08 November, 2004 See I have had fun.. ::sticks tounge out::

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